The humiliations started when he ran in the election as an independent on the platform 'Still Upset with Ansett' where policies included refunding family tickets for 1997 trips to Honolulu.

This campaign was fought with the same vigour as a class action for asbestos victims. The campaign fell apart in disgrace after a slush fund was used to buy slurpies. After being mocked and scorned by close friends and strangers alike resentment started to grow.

He created an excel spreadsheet of all the times he has been disrespected and assigned them numerical values. Now that they have passed a certain threshold he has launched a revenge fantasy.

Armed with nothing but a hammer and a Bill of Assertive Rights he is going around society teaching its denizens how to treat him.

The emasculations are over.